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When you accept a wedding invitation, you're tacitly agreeing to follow every wedding guest etiquette rule, which includes everything from wearing an outfit in keeping with the dress code and arriving on time to giving the happy couple a meaningful gift. Ultimately, what constitutes a "meaningful" wedding gift is open to interpretation. Etiquette experts agree that guests should gift the happy couple something to commemorate the big day, but there's no set rule around what said present has to be. "A wedding guest should always give what they feel best celebrates the occasion, taking into account their budget as well as their closeness with the couple," explains wedding expert Sara Margulis.
Before you decide to give the newlyweds a random amount of money—or purchase an arbitrary item—it is important to be aware of the average (and recommended) amount a guest should consider spending on a wedding gift.
Meet the Expert
- Sara Margulis is the CEO of Honeyfund, a free honeymoon registry website.
- Elizabeth Priya Kumar is the founder and creative director of Premini Events, a New York City and Los Angeles-based event planning company.
- Allison Cullman is a wedding etiquette and registry expert at Zola, an online wedding registry and planning website.
To provide you with more insight, we asked several experts to share everything you need to know when deciding how much to spend on a wedding gift for a family member, friend, distant relative, colleague, and more. Read on for our comprehensive guide.
The Average Wedding Gift Amount
According to the experts, the average wedding gift amount for an individual person hovers right around $100 to $150, though that can increase or decrease based on how close you are to the couple and whether or not you're attending with a plus-one. "While it varies based on demographic, region, and culture, the average amount that I’ve seen a guest spend on a wedding gift has traditionally been in the $100 to $150 per guest attending range," shares wedding planner Elizabeth Priya Kumar.
"A lot of this ideology came into fruition when the notion was that you should 'pay for your plate.' A fancy meal in America right now will end up costing around that, so the thought was that the guest attending would cover their own meal," Kumar continues. Today, however, most experts—and the editors at Brides—agree that you should gift based on your financial situation: No one who cares about you enough to invite you to their wedding would want to see you overextend yourself in order to gift an arbitrary dollar amount, so it's best to give what you can afford, taking your relationship to the soon-to-be-weds into consideration.
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How Much to Spend on a Wedding Gift Based on Your Relationship to the Couple
Though the average wedding gift amount is within the $100 to $150 range, your relationship with the couple will greatly influence how much (or little) you should ultimately spend. Wedding etiquette and registry expert Allison Cullman shares a handy breakdown, below, which you can use to inform your decisions.
- Coworkers, distant relatives, and general acquaintances: $50 to $70, on average
- Friends: $75 to $100, on average
- Close family, best friends, and the wedding party: $100 to $150+, on average
Of course, personal finances and budgets will impact what you can ultimately afford, so these numbers aren't set in stone and should only be used as a reference point. "If you're attending with a plus-one, it’s customary to double the gift amount," adds Cullman. And if you'd like to give more and are in a position to do so, know that there's nothing wrong with that.
How Much to Spend on a Wedding Gift If You're Traveling for the Big Day
As a guest, you're also responsible for bearing any costs associated with travel, lodging, and other day-of expenses, which, depending on where the wedding is being held, can range anywhere from a few hundred dollars to a few thousand. Sounds expensive, right? If you're feeling financial constraints due to other expenses associated with attending the wedding—especially if you're attending a far-flung celebration—it's okay to think of those other expenses when deciding what to gift to a couple.
How to Budget for Wedding Gifts
While attending a wedding can be expensive, there are ways to help minimize expenses, as highlighted below.
Only spend what you can afford.
This one bears repeating: Limit your investment to what you can actually afford, even if it’s less than what traditional wedding gift etiquette suggests. If you can’t find a single item that fits your budget, consider purchasing a few smaller items to total an amount that works for you. (It’s also a great way to help the couple stock their home with items that are often overlooked, like measuring spoons or cutting boards.)
The couple wants you to be there to celebrate with them, so prioritize your budget however you need to make that happen—even if that means a smaller gift so you can cover the cost of the hotel room. This is especially true for individuals in the wedding party, who may have to spend a significant amount on pre-wedding activities and attire, and thus may not be able to afford the average amount.
Know when you don't need to give a gift.
While gifts are expected at the wedding and bridal shower, stretch your budget by remembering when you don’t have to bring one. For example, gifts are not expected at the engagement party (though a card congratulating the couple is a nice touch). And if you’ve contributed serious time or money by helping out with the wedding, like hosting the bridal shower or serving as the bride’s makeup artist on the wedding day, you’re not expected to spend on a gift, too. By only bringing gifts to events where they are expected, the money you have to spend will go a lot farther.